Note: This is one of many examples of religious humor that I have collected over the years. Where I have information about the original source, I have included it. Unfortunately, for most of these jokes and stories I do not have reliable authorship information. Like many jokes and urban legends, such information is difficult to trace.
Lessons from Noah
Subject: A Lesson from Noah
Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark.
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to be blessed.
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You can not discover new oceans, unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.