|
Note: This is one of many examples of religious humor that I have collected over the years. Where I have information about the original source, I have included it. Unfortunately, for most of these jokes and stories I do not have reliable authorship information. Like many jokes and urban legends, such information is difficult to trace.
|
Mormon Barbie
In celebration of Barbie's 40th birthday - Mattel has created Mormon Barbies for those folks in Utah. The most popular model, Celestial Barbie, comes with 8.4 children. She wears a mid-calf flower print Laura Ashley dress with conservative flats (no heels), a bow in her flowing, shoulder-length hair with puffy bangs. Barbie wears a permanent smile, knows how to bake bread, store wheat, can feed a family of 12 on less than $200 a week, make casseroles and Jell-O salads, and still find time to read her scriptures. She comes with an MAV Dodge/Ford/Nissan/whatever mini-van (otherwise known as a Mormon Assault Vehicle).
When you pull the cord in her back, she becomes emotional, teary and says things like, "You have such a special spirit Sister Jones" or "Love ya." Occasionally you can find one that says "Oh my heck!" but be warned: this is a manufacturer's defect. Celestial Barbie would never say "heck" because it's a swear word!
You can buy a Celestial Ken to go with celestial Barbie, but he's hard to find. (Probably because he's off fulfilling some priesthood leadership calling, so he's rarely home.)
Other Special LDS Barbies include:
- Returned Missionary Barbie - Comes with BYU or Ricks sweatshirt and mini computer.
- HFPE Leader Barbie - Comes with all necessary baking equipment.
- Primary President Barbie - Not very popular, this one has no hair.
- Relief Society Presidency Barbie - Sold in a unique set, these Barbie's come complete with their own agenda!
- Young Women's Leader Barbie - Comes dressed for camp with all necessary equipment.
- Young Women's Skippers - Laurels, Mia Maids, and Beehives, all cute as buttons, dressed in flannel nighties for the sleepover.
- Nursery Leader Barbie - Be careful! On Sunday after church, all this one wants to do is sleep.
- Organist Barbie - Has rimmed glasses and verrrrrrrry long fingers.
- Chorister Barbie - right arm permanently raised to a square.
- Visiting Teacher Barbie - again, only sold in a set, but a true collector's item as each set has its own recorded message!
- Stake Leader Barbie - comes with a voluminous set of mini leadership manuals.
- Salt Lake Leader Barbie - White hair in a hurricane do!
|
|